The Doena Journal | Diary of a TV Junkie

TAG | Xena: Warrior Princess


The last time I watched such an awful movie in the theatre, was Beowulf. And even then I didn’t have that many facepalms as this time.

Basically everything was abysmal: The script itself, the dialogues and sometimes even the special effects. What does it say about a movie when a TV production like Xena: Warrior Princess does a better job at portraying a giant speaking to a normal-sized person? Not once did they manage to get the line of sight right, the giants always spoke to the shoulder or someone (who wasn’t there) behind the actual person.

The dialogues! “I go into Hades!” – “Do you know where it is?” – “Uh, you are right, I totally did not think about that!”
“Your father built this house for you.” (non-dialogue: “Until an hour ago it was never planned for you to ever come here but the viewer certainly won’t notice that…”).
“The stench of your stepfather hid your own scent from the Gods.”
*shudder*

And don’t get me started about this entire training camp and the Capture-the-Flag game…

When they were in Vegas they ate some Lotus blossoms which had a narcotic affect on them – I believe that is the only thing that would get me through this movie a second time. That or loads of alcohol.

Even the end credits joke was predictable and incredibly lame.

The dubbing was equally bad but I honestly don’t think it made the movie worse than it already is.

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Deutsche Version | CW 01-02 | CW 04

Human Target 1×01 Pilot
The pilot episode certainly looked interesting. The action was well balanced above realistic and below unrealistic. It looks like as if it’s going to be Die Hard or Lethal Weapon in a series format and I certainly will watch more episodes of it.
“You wore a vest? Where’s my vest?” – “I’m your vest.”

24 8×01 – 8×04 4:00 p.m. – 8:00 p.m.
Dammit. I should have known better. I decided to watch the season en bloc when it is over. But I just had to peak a little and was already drawn back in…
I love Jack’s new “Are we done here? Can I go home now?” attitude. Of course they aren’t done and Jack can’t go home.
When I read that that Freddie Prince jr. (Wing Commander, Scooby Doo) – He married my Buffy, dammit!!! – would take the part of the leading CTU Field Officer I was a bit worried. But he has gotten older and looks like he can pull it off.
Of course there are again the typical 24 plot points like the incompetent CTU boss, the CTU member who has private problems and I am already wondering who the mole is – but that’s OK, it’s 24 after all.
What I also like is that – aside from the 24 alumni who have returned this season – these episodes feel like a huge School Reunion party: The aforementioned Freddie Prince jr., Katee Sackhoff (Starbuck in Battlestar Galactica) – looks gorgeous btw -, Paul Wesley (Stefan in The Vampire Diaries), Cliff Simon (Ba’al in Stargate SG-1), David Anders (Takezo Kensei / Adam Monroe in Heroes, Julian Sark in Alias), Jürgen Prochnow (Dune, Das Boot) and according to the CTU files Callum Keith Rennie (Ray in Due South, Leoben in Battlestar Galactica) will also appear anytime soon. :)

Life Unexpected 1×01 Pilot
I was made aware of this series at least twice. The second time was a few days ago when blogs reviewed the pilot episode. But I’ve seen bits and pieces of this episode before – most likely in a trailer a few months back. And even though I had forgotten the show in the meantime I now remember that I decided back then that I’d give it a try.
I really liked the pilot. The characters are believable and down-to-earth. Even though the show runs on The CW this isn’t Beverly Hills 90210 or Gossip Girl, this is different. As with every show it now depends on what kind of storylines they are going to tell and how this triangle+attachments is going to work out.

Spartacus: Blood and Sand 1×01 / 1×02 The Red Serpent / Sacramentum Gladiatorum
Lots of nudity (male and female). Even more blood. Better you put a bucket below your telly in case it spills out of the screen. The optic leans more towards 300 than Gladiator, especially when there’s blood flowing. The problem is the story. These first two episodes show how Spartacus became a Gladiator but it didn’t give the viewer an idea what the entire show is going to be about. And that’s why I am not yet convinced. To quote Buffy’s Spike: “I love a good slaughter as much as the next bloke” but I also need a real story in between.
Time will tell … at least you now get the chance you never got with Xena: To see Lucy Lawless in the nude. ;)

Chuck 3×04 Chuck vs Operation Awesome
The only thing I’ve ever seen Brandon Routh in was Superman Returns but here he didn’t remind me of his character there. I like him as addition to the team because he could stir things up a little.
I don’t know if it’s just my imagination because they announced it but the show actually feels a bit less funny and a bit more serious. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still an Action Comedy and there’s plenty of fun in it. But the general tone during the spy action seems to have darkened a little since last year. I’m not complaining – I like it.

(more…)

Categories: TV Season 2009/10 Diary
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Spartacus: Blood and Sand @ Wikipedia

Spartacus: Blood and Sand @ IMDb

Trailer: This is Sparta … cus!

Spartacus (a name given to him by the Romans later), a Thracian, joins forces with a Roman Legatus to fight against an evil horde that constantly raid their villages, rob their crop and rape their women. But then the Romans don’t hold their end of the bargain and the Thracians desert to protect their villages on their own. The Legatus doesn’t take that too kindly and follows them. He can take Spartacus as a prisoner and sentences him to die in the arena. But that man is not that easy to kill.

Lots of nudity (male and female). Even more blood. Better you put a bucket below your telly in case it spills out of the screen. The visual appearance leans more towards 300 than Gladiator, especially when there’s blood flowing. The problem is the story. These first two episodes show how Spartacus became a Gladiator but it didn’t give the viewer an idea what the entire show is going to be about. And that’s why I am not yet convinced. To quote Buffy’s Spike: “I love a good slaughter as much as the next bloke.” but I also need a real story in between.
Time will tell … at least you now get the chance you never got with Xena: To see Lucy Lawless in the nude. ;)

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Deutsche Version | Season 1: Disc 1

1×05 The Path Not Taken

Synopsis: Xena intervenes in an old feud between two kingdoms that is fuelled by the weapons dealer profiting from it. He kidnapped the princess and blamed it on the other kingdom. Within his ranks Xena finds Marcus, an old friend of hers who still travels the road she’s left.

My Opinion: It was an OK episode, but Marcus’s sacrifice at the end was a bit unconvincing. Granted they prepared for it in that conversation between him and Xena, but he was just fighting her because he did not want to change his way of living.

1×06 The Reckoning

Synopsis: Ares, God of War, slaughters some innocent villagers and blames it on Xena. The surviving villagers want to bring her to trial and then execute her. Ares could help her – if she comes back to him. Gabrielle tries to defend her and prove her innocence but is being sabotaged in her efforts.

My Opinion: Even though the episode introduced the cool Kevin Smith (they are both cool, but this is not the fat one! ;) ) as Ares, the episode didn’t work for me. Even though she was innocent she surrendered to this trial just because she has a dark past. And it looked like as if she might have let them kill her. That’s BS in my eyes.

1×07 The Titans

Synopsis: Gabrielle inadvertently releases three of the Titans when she recites and old chant in a huge cave hall. Amongst them is Hyperion, the Sun Titan, who is not very fond of Humans. At first they follow Gabrielle’s command since they believe that only a powerful god could have released them. But Hyperion is impatient…

My Opinion: This episode I liked. It was cool to see Crius (one of the Titans) to follow Gabrielle’s every wish and constantly calling her “the virgin goddess” and her getting annoyed by it (especially the “virgin” part ;) ). I also thought they did the handling of the height difference pretty decently. The special effects in the show aren’t the best but here they managed it to look pretty convincingly.

1×08 Prometheus

Synopsis: Hera, wife of Zeus and mother of the gods, has put Prometheus in chains. This means that mankind will slowly lose all gifts Prometheus has given them. Starting with the ability to heal and the ability to utilize fire. Both Xena & Gabrielle and Hercules & Iolaus try to free him again.

My Opinion: This was a cool episode, seeing the four of them together (I think it’s the only time it ever happens). And while it was unlikely (due to the time frame) that Hercules told Xena about Prometheus and his chains I didn’t care. I liked how they found “a solution” to free him without the need to sacrifice one of them and I liked how Iolaus and Gabrielle came closer.

Categories: DVD / Blu-ray, DVD Marathon, Xena Marathon
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Deutsche Version | “Xena: Warrior Princess” Marathon | Season 1: Disc 2

1×01 Sins of the Past

Synopsis: Xena has left her old ways behind and even intends to bury her weapons and armor when she “encounters” a group of mercenaries who try to kidnap a group of young women from a nearby village. The mercenaries belong to Draco, an old acquaintance of Xena’s who plans to march into Xena’s home valley. She has to protect her home village and at the same time that young girl who’s now following her: Gabrielle.

My Opinion: If you already know the character from the Hercules episodes then you have no problem understanding this pilot episode. If you don’t then the writers gave you a glimpse into her old life by using Draco as proxy since it is made clear that Xena was much like him. And it’s also a good introduction to Gabrielle and her greatest talent: Her mouth. Xena wears now her final costume which changed slightly during and after the Hercules episodes. I think it’s a good introduction to the show.

1×02 Chariots of War

Synopsis: Xena gets shot by an arrow when she tries to help some villagers who were under attack by a local warlord. One of the villagers invites her to his house until she’s healed. Meanwhile Gabrielle waits in another town for her return and makes the acquaintance of a young man who happens to be the son of said warlord and is supposed to become his father’s successor.

My Opinion: Sometimes this show is a bit clichéd. For example you can always tell the absolute bad guys by their deliberately ugly teeth. But that doesn’t mean that nice teeth indicate a good person, it just indicates a main character for the episode. ;) And while the warlord has quite a number of scars, his son is pretty good looking (with blue eyes and all).
I liked it that they expanded on Gabrielle’s character trait to let her talking be her greatest strength/weapon.

1×03 Dreamworker

Synopsis: Gabrielle gets kidnapped by a group of Mystics who want to marry her to the God of Dreams, Morpheus. For this she has to lose her blood innocence and has to kill a man (but she doesn’t know that). In order to save her, Xena has to enter the Dreamscape where she not only encounters the people she killed but also her old self.

My Opinion: “You look bigger”. :D I really liked it how Gabrielle got rid of her enemies without killing a single one of them and I liked it how Xena faced her old self and came to the acceptance that she is part of her and always will be. And I love these contact lenses(?) that colour the entire eye totally black. That looks awesome every time someone wears them (e.g. Lyta Alexander in Babylon 5).

1×04 Cradle of Hope

Synopsis: Xena and Gabrielle find an abandoned baby that has become victim of a prophecy that says that the child will one day sit on the throne of the local kingdom. But they also encounter the granddaughter of the famous Pandora and she’s carrying the box and has to prevent hope from escaping out of it.

My Opinion: As I said in the beginning, I like the mixture of mythologies they are brewing here. I don’t have a problem with them being at Troy one week and meeting Cesar the next. And so they encounter Pandora (named after her grandmother) and her box this week. And Lucy Lawless (what a name! ;) ) danced a beautiful oriental dance…

Season 1: Disc 2

Categories: DVD / Blu-ray, DVD Marathon, Xena Marathon
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Deutsche Version | Season 1: Disc 1

Every story has a beginning and the beginning of this story I will tell you now:

1×09 The Warrior Princess

Synopsis: Xena is a fearsome warlord who raids defenceless villages. And as basically every warlord of that time she wants to slay the son of Zeus: Hercules. But first she has to break him. And what better way is there than to seduce his best friend Iolaus and let them turn against each other?

My Opinion: I have to admit, the only one who really convinced me here, was Xena. Neither Hercules nor Iolaus behaved liked you would expect them to. They’ve travelled so much together, fought side by side and back to back. And suddenly Iolaus believes her more than he does believe him and even challenges him to the death? Unlikely.

1×12 The Gauntlet

Synopsis: Xena has raised a new army but unfortunately her soldiers don’t follow her code of honour. In her absence they raid a village without warning and kill every man, woman and child in it (except for the one baby she can save). Her second-in-command, Darphus, sees this as a weakness and starts a mutiny. He puts her through the gauntlet, a ritual that nobody has ever survived – until now. Now she wants revenge and she gets help in the form of Hercules who wants to stop this army, too.

My Opinion: Here they started to build up the character for her own series and except for her sudden fondness for Hercules in the end there was nothing that contradicts with her former appearance. I liked how they changed her character because she’s already much more like the Xena I know and love. But Salmoneus was also great. Both shows have a good number of supporting characters that act as comic relief and Salmoneus is one of them.

1×13 Unchained Heart

Synopsis: Ares, God of War, has resurrected Darphus and has given him his favourite “pet”. Xena and Hercules decide to stop him once and for all, but they are not alone. Salmoneus is still with them, even if he’s not the bravest of guys. And Iolaus is also joining them, despite his and Xena’s history.

My Opinion: If you watch the show you have to admit that the effects have never been the best or even slightly realistic. But if you can look past this then it’s really enjoyable. It makes it up with interesting characters, cool stories and a nice potpourri of Greek, Roman, Christian and whatnot mythology.

Season 1: Disc 1

Categories: DVD / Blu-ray, DVD Marathon, Xena Marathon
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Since I ama fan of sword movies, I am going to watch the new show Spartacus: Blood and Sand this autumn even though it looks like a mix of Gladiator and 300.

Sam Raimi (The Evil Dead, Spider-Man) and Robert Tapert (Hercules, Xena) are producing this and Lucy Lawless (Xena, Battlestar Galactica) is starring – that makes it basically a must-see for me.

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May/09

21

Buffy: Season 2


Deutsche Version | Season 1 | Season 3: Disc 1

Disc 1

When She Was Bad

Synopsis: Summer break is nearly over and Buffy has returned from L.A.. But she seems to to have changed. She is closed up and snubs virtually everyone. And it gets worse: The Anointed One wants to get the Master back from the really dead. And for this he needs the people who were close to him when he died.

My Opinion: This behaviour will develop into a habit. Everytime Buffy goes through a shocking or traumatizing event she will try to shut everyone out and keep the world at bay. She will do it again at the beginning of the third season and during the sixth season. It may not be a good character trait but it’s definitively a defining one for the character. Just as the one that she will do what’s right when it matters.
The episode was also a portent for the season. When she claims that Angel has thought about fighting her and that he should try it. When Snyder states that he would love to expel her. When she was lured away from the library and that’s the place she was needed most.
I think it was a good start of the season.

Some Assembly Required

Synopsis: During her patrol in one of Sunnydale’s graveyards she discovers that a grave is empty that shouldn’t be empty. But it’s not another Vampire who has risen. The body is simply gone. So it’s either the work of flesh-eating demons or a group that wants to build an army of Zombies. But when Cordelia finds a lot of body parts in the dumpster they can safely dismiss both theories. But who needs only some parts from several young women?

My Opinion: I never liked these frankenstein-y stories, neither here nor in the fourth season. But once again I liked it that good and bad weren’t clear cut, that our Dr. Frankenstein in the form of Chris didn’t go as far as killing someone just to build a bride for his brother. But I haven’t understood what the other guy was hoping for. Why was he helping in the first place and why would he have killed Cordelia? I simply couldn’t see his motive to act the way he did.

School Hard

Synopsis: Buffy and another “rebel” is ordered to organize and host the annual parent-teacher-night. And Buffy has to keep her mother far away from principle Snyder. And some special Vampire holiday is coming up. And the Vampire Spike has come to town to have some fun around here. And he will kill Buffy on Saint Whatshisname’s day. Fortunately those two events don’t fall on the same day…

My Opinion: …Unfortunately Spike isn’t the most patient guy. ;) I loved it how he single-handedly decluttered all the Vampire rituals and my prejudice about them. James Marsters once stated that he played Spike “with a bit more soul than he was supposed to”. I knew him from Smallville and he was one of the reasons to give Buffy a chance and I couldn’t wait to finally see him here. He will develop into one of the most interesting characters on the show even though he just lost his first battle against the Slayer.
But they also made two statements about him that they will “correct” later: Giles states that he’s barely two hundred. I would assume “barely 200″ means something like 190 or 180. Later they will make him just 150 years old (born around 1850). Spike also says that Angel was “his Sire, his Yoda”. But as it will turn out, Spike was sired by Drusilla who was sired by Angel. But maybe Spike meant it in some figurative way. After all, Angel is his Grand-Sire and Yoda was Luke’s second Jedi teacher after Obi-Wan.

Inca Mummy Girl

Synopsis: During a visit of the local museum one of the student tries to steal a mummy seal and accidentally breaks it. The young, female Inka mummy re-awakes, kills the student and disappears from the museum. Shortly after she takes the place of an exchange student (whom she also killed) and moves in with Buffy for the next two weeks. And naturally Xander falls for her the minute he sees her. But then there’s a mysterious knife guy who seems to be connected to the mummy and the body count is increasing. The gang has to find out what’s going on.

My Opinion: I have to say, I liked this episode. As most creatures do this young woman tried to ensure her own survival. But in the end she couldn’t kill the person she fell in love with. I also liked the comparison between her and Buffy’s fate: The be the Chosen One and not being able to have a say in it. And in opposition to Teacher’s Pet Xander could be Xander without being influenced from the outside.
In this episode we’ve also seen Oz and Jonathan for the first time but I think one notices Jonathan only if one knows him already – ironically that is exactly what this character will be about.
(more…)

Categories: Buffy Marathon, DVD / Blu-ray, DVD Marathon
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Deutsche Version | Season 4 | Season 6

Disc 1

Arrival

Synopsis: Accidentally Chloe has been transported to the Arctic where the united stones have just built the “Fortress of Solitude” for Clark. Clark is allowed to rescue her and to fight a new enemy that has arrived with the meteor shower but he has to return until sunset. Meanwhile Lana and Lex meet these newcomers.

My Opinion: Sure, they were lazy, but I still thought that it was too easy for Clark to get rid of those two(!) Kryptonians. I really would have liked a scenario where Lana wouldn’t have been knocked out and would have witnessed the entire scene (with or without Clark’s knowlegde). But maybe the writers thought it to be too soon to let yet another person in on Clark’s secret.
I wonder – if this were for real – whether Chloe and Clark have recapitulated their past, unfolding all the events where only Clark knew the whole truth, or if he told her that she already knew his secret (Rush).

Mortal

Synopsis: Three patients can escape from Belle Reve and they take Lana, Martha and Jonathan hostage. They force Clark – who has lost his powers because he disobeyed his father – to break into LuthorCorp and steal an experimental Kryptonite-based drug. In the past this wouldn’t have been much of a problem, but this time it turns out to be a good thing that he doesn’t have his powers.

My Opinion: It’s always funny to hear Clark saying, that he’s not to keen with heights. I also liked the comparison of Pete and Chloe in their role as “sidekick”.
But I also think, that the concept of “Belle Reve” and Lex’s influence there is a bit of a plot hole. Lex may not believe one particular loony in there but if he really has spoken with a few of them and promised them something and they would have told him all the same story about Clark Kent’s abilities (and there are quite a few in there that could tell such a story) then he wouldn’t need to resort to such crude investigation methods – especially when he adds his own experiences with Clark.

Hidden

Synopsis: Clark is still human and he and Lana have slept together and are very happy. Can it get any better?
In 60 minutes Smallville gets nuked and Clark lies in the hospital, dying from a gunshot wound. Can it get any worse?

My Opinion: Lionel takes up the role of Jor-El. In a weird way, Lex and Clark are now actually brothers. This episode marks the climax (pun intended) of Clark’s and Lana’s relationship. From now on it will go downhill. :(
What’s even more interesting about this episode, are the discussions on the internet about it. For example, people were seriously offended that he didn’t tell her about his true nature before they were sleeping together, because he is an alien. There were sentences like “If Lana were my child I would want to know that she’s sleeping with an alien.”.

Aqua

Synopsis: Lois is back in Smallville and she moves back to the farm. On a warm sunny day she, Chloe, Lana and Clark go swimming in the Crater Lake. Suddenly Lois nearly drowns and gets rescued – by Arthur “AC” Curry. AC can swim fast, even faster than Clark. But his motive to be in Smallville is not to rescue drowning girls but to save the oceans from a terrible weapon, created by LuthorCorp.

My Opinion: After the events in Arrival Lex has gone into full defense mode. It’s pretty ironic that he who wants to defend this planet from aliens will become the planet’s greatest threat by the end of the season.
I really liked the appearance of “Aquaman” and the hints they implanted in the script, especially when AC proposes the foundation of a “Junior Lifeguard Association” and Clark replies that he isn’t ready for the JLA yet.
And Tom seriously has to reshape his washboard abs, he looked pale in comparison to Alan Ritchson (AC) and he is supposed to be Superman.
(more…)

Categories: DVD / Blu-ray, DVD Marathon, Smallville Marathon
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Deutsche Version | Season 9 | The Ark of Truth

I have bought the first nine seasons of Stargate SG-1 here in Germany. Each one had an average price of 80-90€. Back in the days that were simply the prices for season boxes, Star Trek boxes had cost a similar amount. But times change and I was no more willing to pay 77€ for the 10. season in Germany. Thus I bought the complete box in the US for 135€. And it does look nice. I will chip the first nine seasons on eBay.

Disc 1

Flesh and Blood

Synopsis: The defence of the Supergate ended in a slaughter of the defenders. The four Ori ships had no problems with breaking through. Aboard one of these ships Vala has just given birth to her daughter. But she is growing very fast and she is supposed to become the leader of all Ori troops in this galaxy.

My Opinion: The more often I encounter the story it the less interesting it gets: chosen childs. Offhand I can recall: Gabrielle’s daughter Hope (Xena: Warrior Princess), Xena’s daughter Eve/Livia (Xena: Warrior Princess) and of course Angel’s son Connor (Angel). If we add movies, we can also add Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader (Star Wars).
I was also a bit disappointed that Bra’tac has learned very few since he first encountered G_1 over eight years ago. Back then he also wanted to prepare for death after they had successfully sabotaged Apophis’s ship.

Morpheus

Synopsis: SG-1 visits one of the planets where they hope to find Merlin’s weapon. But there isn’t a single living being, not even animals. But the inhabitants of the village seem to have died peacefully in their beds.
In the meantime Vala has to undergo a psychiatric examination before she can join the Stargate program.

My Opinion: This episode was literally soporific.

The Pegasus Project

Synopsis: Daniel hopes to find more information about the location of the weapon in Atlantis. And Carter has developed a plan to render the Supergate useless with the help of a black hole in the Pegasus galaxy.

My Opinion: This episode I liked again. McKay was great and the way Daniel and Vala blew the cover of the Ancient “Morgan le Fay” was also good. While there are significant difference the Ancients and the Ori strongly reminded me of the Vorlons and the Shadows (Babylon 5) in this episode. All four are far superior to the normal Humans and within their universe they have a mutual exclusive point of view on how to interact with the Humans. Although the Ancients are the only ones of the four that don’t intervene at all (with the usual exceptions to that rule).
The “phone bill” of this episode could be interesting. Atlantis in the Pegasus galaxy calls the SGC who in turn call Teal’c at the Supergate and he relays the message through the open wormhole to the Odyssey in the Pegasus galaxy. ;)

Insiders

Synopsis: The allegedly real Ba’al comes to Earth and offers his help to find the weapon. But for this, SG-1 would have to kill all his clones who have uprisen against him. But every clone insits on being the real Ba’al and soon the SGC is swarmed with Ba’als.

My Opinion: Oh Sam, come on! Have you learned nothing from the RepliCarter disaster? I am annoyed that this highly intelligent woman falls for such plans. Yes, granted, she was in a hostage situation but how many lives will it cost when Ba’al is successful?
(more…)

Categories: DVD / Blu-ray, DVD Marathon, SG-1 Marathon
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